With (twisted) contributions from Alex F.
10. Slip Sam a sleeping pill before Game 3. Prod him gently with a rolled up pink slip after the Raptors win.
9. Put three dead hookers in his trunk. Call in his license plate (*if you have more or less than three lying around, then use that amount.) Read the rest of this entry »
(with pictures from renowned paparazzi scum-bag and gravedigger, Brent Addison)
Intense warmup, everyone focused on the task at hand.
The post bucket sulk - Unlike tenacious teams, after an opponents made bucket (especially dunks) all 5 Raptors for a full second: pout, look at their feet and then collectively imagine that they got stood up on prom night by a fat chiq.
Or that someone gathered all their kittens, put them in a sack, lit the sack on fire and underarm pitched it to Barry Bonds, who choked up on the bat and pulled the flaming kitteh-sack down the line into the Grand Canyon. Read the rest of this entry »
(written by Rhys Z.)
Here’s how Howard and Hump handled the heat, head to head, (hehe):
Conclusion: As hypothesized, Kris Humphries held his own against Dwight Howard. There’s nothing that Hump likes more (other than thinking he’s a scorer) than a physical mano a mano match up down low. Read the rest of this entry »
Why isn’t this a consideration? From reader Rhys:
“One of the keys is playing Hump more on Dwight. Don’t double Dwight. PG’s be aggressive. Wings slash when they collapse on Bosh, stop shading away from him. Be men, play with some pride. Get a motivational speaker in there. Hypnotist. Anything.”
Treat the 60% free throw shooting Dwight as a young-Shaq and hack the bejeezus out of him. Let Rashard try to penetrate (here’s a secret: he can’t). And then only Hedo’s a threat to score 20. Bogans/Nelson/Evans are average or less offensive players. Dwight will get 30-35. So what?
Raptors would have 24 fouls to use - Hump, Rasho, Primo, CB4. (I’d like to see Primo irritate Dwight to some extent.)
Put Joey in an ugly oversized suit, activate the spindly Maceo, feed him some HGH. And that’s 30 fouls.
Beats the game 1 plan, no?
Fresh off listening to an impressive rally speech from Obama, I couldn’t help but parallel his opponent, Hillary Clinton to Sam Mitchell.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa”, you say (or “Beep, beep beep, back it up”, if you’re George Costanza). But stay with me and allow me to count the ways. Read the rest of this entry »
Dear Raptors,
Thanks for your question. Here’s a start, but you probably have to work on it for a season or two, and maybe that last game you lost to Chicago would’ve been a good place to start not being lazy. Read the rest of this entry »
Yes, I/we look to be critical of Sam when he messes up. But not having your all-star in the game, at this juncture, 4 fouls or not, is a huge MISTAKE…anyway you slice that pie:
Ball game.
Bosh:
“We can win if I get 20 to 25 points and 12 rebounds. AP probably needs to score 16 to 20…Jose, well he just gotta be Jose man, 10-12 assists. TJ has to switch up the pace, score 10 or 15, have 6 assists. Read the rest of this entry »
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04 24th, 2008| 