Fire Sam Mitchell.

7 Responses

1. Alex Says:
   April 14th, 2008 at 9:51 pm

   I think I know that guy.

2. TJFord Says:
   April 14th, 2008 at 10:06 pm

   I actually think the win was even uglier than that guy.

3. Rhys Says:
   April 14th, 2008 at 10:09 pm

   Raps fans can rejoice, we are playing Orlando. But I don’t see any signs that it isn’t going to be a quick exit. This team is totally out of sync, and Orlando should probably be the happiest team of all right now. Philly can’t touch Detroit, but at least they have shown some grit. They were 16-30 at one point, since then going 24-11.

4. admin Says:
   April 14th, 2008 at 10:30 pm

   Yep, for some reason the whole avoid-Detroit sweepstakes has morphed into the ultimate ‘false alternative’ fallacy.

   The delusion assumes that, by eluding the savvy Pistons, the 50-win Magic team becomes a cakewalk by comparison.

5. Dan F. Says:
   April 14th, 2008 at 10:45 pm

   Watching that game tonight was a chore. A grossly depleted Miami squad heralding the likes of Ricky Davis for the faithful on hand.

   Few observations/musings:

   1. Chris Quinn can hit a jumper. That kid was all over the place. Possibly the only player on that squad too scared not to listen to coach Riley. The kid plays his heart out.

   2. At halftime, a buddy of mine who I took to the game met up with his pal whose wife is related to a Board member of MLSE. Suffice to say, that the Platinum Lounge is all that it’s cracked up to be.

   I mean, there I was standing next to Larry Tannenbaum sippin more Creemore than a Durham pre-tank. I walked away with stat packs of everything related to tonight’s encounter - including a media stat pack that outlined how Miami’s main weapon Mark Blount was fairing during the past 7 days… unreal.

   3. “Big Rap” - *note to admin: I will be submitting a column on this affable character. Truly one of the great attractions at a Raps game. Brings joy to all those in attendance. Everything from the audacious slow walk, then 90 degree snap of the neck onto an unsuspecting patron to the tongue in eye of young toddlers. Kudos to you Big Rap… kudos.

6. Ellie Says:
   April 15th, 2008 at 2:33 pm

   Blanca. Snort.

7. Rhys Says:
   April 15th, 2008 at 7:34 pm

   Takes me back to the little blurbs at the bottom of Slam magazine back in the day, one of them read:

   “Ty Hill’s face looks like a jar of smashed assh*le” lol

   Speaking of which, this from the late Ralph Wiley about Oak vs Ty Hill. (whose writing style, by the way, I never did get.. he always seemed to be in his own world, writing for himself, for jokes only he gets. Am I allowed to state such an opinion about someone who is no longer with us?)

   http://espn.go.com/page2/s/wiley/011115.html

   “Charles Oakley, Chicago Bulls

   Charles Oakley, left, has stolen the hearts of both his opponents and his own teammates.
   Oakley is a serial Heart-Eater, the Hannibal Lecter of Heart-Eaters in sports. Started out with then-Philly forward Tyrone Hill’s heart. Oakley liked the taste. Slapped Hill around before a shootaround. People seemed to respect him for it. Warmed to his work after that.

   Instead of Tyrone Hill slapping back, or at least dropping some J’s on Oak on-court, or bringing in some muscle to defend him, like Luca Brazi, or Suge Knight, Ty Hill only gulped, shrank, shriveled up and got traded from the Philadelphia 76ers to some place where they don’t make Charles Oakleys.

   Don’t much care what Oakley’s reasoning was for eating Hill’s heart. Hill owed him some money? So? Does your mortgage company send somebody out to slap you around? Would you just sit there and take it and looked shocked if it did? Oak stole Ty Hill’s heart. Oak stole little Jeffy McInnis’ heart, real unfair because Jeffy is a Munchkin, compared to Oak.

   Still, Oak slapped him around before a practice in L.A. because the Clippers guard supposedly hit, in the Biblical sense, some sassy bimbette Oak was supposedly sweet on. Hey, Oak, if you’re gonna slap somebody around over shared affections of a woman, especially that particular coquette, you are going to be slapping people all day. McInnis didn’t have a gangster brother to say to Oak, “You slapped my brother around in public?” So, Oak was not compelled to explain, “He was banging cocktail waitresses three at a time! I got a business to run here! Sometimes I gotta kick asses to make it run right!”

   Ol’ Oak even wanted to eat Vinsanity’s heart last year, even though he was on the same team. Why do you think Toronto traded him?

   Now Oak is gnawing on the beating left ventricle of Bulls coach Tim Floyd Horrible! Bon appetit, Oak.”

   I must be some kind of unpoetic bastard with no soul (of the Al Green variety) because couldn’t the same thing have been summed up in 2 sentences without losing much?

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