Fire Sam Mitchell.

In case you can’t tell, FSM is on hiatus…either till relevant Raptors related blurbs or boredom, occurs. Until then, check out the archives.

Erm, Sam Mitchell hacked the site, and it was down for the last three days. Another reason to fire sam mitchell.

Welcome Sports Guy readers,

If you check ONE link on this site, make it this one — 64 hilarious photoshops of Sam Mitchell, Idiot of the year:

Sam Mitchell Overloaded

PS. the ‘Popular’ ones on the right are apparently um, popular, too.

PPS. fire sam mitchell

Thanks

Doug Smith, Toronto Star columnist (and Mitchell bed-buddy) at it again. In his mailbag, he was asked this question:

Q: How crazy is it that both Philly and Atlanta, the 2 teams that a lot of people didn’t want in the playoffs with a rejigged playoff format, are tied with the 2 top teams in the NBA?

And will that impact BC’s decision with Sam, since Maurice Cheeks and Mike Woodson managed to coach their less talented teams to one more win than Toronto got, despite playing against tougher teams.
Read the rest of this entry »

…or is it?

On another note, how much can referees and call-buying be attributed to a coach vs team’s style?

—-

Fitting epitaph for a subpar coach’s expired efforts:

“We knew in the regular season that every time we played the Orlando Magic that you’ve got to score, and we just couldn’t score,” Toronto coach Sam Mitchell said. “We didn’t make enough shots.”

In the vein of being fair and balanced, fireSamMitchell will (sans tongue in cheek, for a change) look at 3 positives coach Smitch brings to the table:

1. His ability to mediate a potential TJ/Jose conflict. As Scoop Jackson alluded to in his article, it is no small task to ask two multimillionaire athletes to share a spotlight, and shelve egos, stats, future contracts for the betterment of the team. [Of course it helps when one of them is a legitimate candidate for sainthood in Spain…Ho-sayyyyy, Ho-sssssay] Read the rest of this entry »

With (twisted) contributions from Alex F.

10. Slip Sam a sleeping pill before Game 3. Prod him gently with a rolled up pink slip after the Raptors win.

9. Put three dead hookers in his trunk. Call in his license plate (*if you have more or less than three lying around, then use that amount.) Read the rest of this entry »

The post bucket sulk - Unlike tenacious teams, after an opponents made bucket (especially dunks) all 5 Raptors for a full second: pout, look at their feet and then collectively imagine that they got stood up on prom night by a fat chiq.

Or that someone gathered all their kittens, put them in a sack, lit the sack on fire and underarm pitched it to Barry Bonds, who choked up on the bat and pulled the flaming kitteh-sack down the line into the Grand Canyon. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Raptors,

Thanks for your question. Here’s a start, but you probably have to work on it for a season or two, and maybe that last game you lost to Chicago would’ve been a good place to start not being lazy. Read the rest of this entry »