1. The “Hot like fire, cool like…” Raptors ‘reading is fun’ commercial that they play to fucking death on Raptors TV is ‘pull out my toenails with white-hot barbecue tongs instead’ annoying. A 1986 Sony handicam films the Raptor doing cartwheels through a dusty elementary school gym. Then, Pullitzer-aspiring Chris Bosh, offers this deadpan reason for reading:

“Its very important…in life…and um, it’s a good hobby”

Um, Chris, ehhhhhhhhhhhhcccch (family feud buzzer)

Hobby? Likely not amongst the official top 3 reasons for reading. (Probably education, knowledge and ultimately, dollars).

2. Jose masterminding a genius backcourt inbound play (probably, I’ll pass it to you, you pass it back) to Joey Graham who, seemingly by Jose’s growing impatience, is standing facing the crowd, picking his ass.

But also, calm down Jose - how important could the game situation be if Joey was on the court?

3. Sherman Hamilton in HD. (His scientist looking co-host isn’t taking home any ‘least annoying’ awards either.)

For the uninitiated, Maple Leafs coach Paul Maurice was axed yesterday, a few weeks after interim puppet-on-a-string GM, Cliff Fletcher vouched for his job security. The timing? Two days after an MLSE board meeting.

Nothing in the history of the MLSE has indicated that the Raptors have any more leeway when it comes to ’spending’ (not ignoring that the Leaf’s problems are a LOT more sordid and historically rooted in a loser’s malaise). The Raptors, however, were smaller money and ‘new’ ground for the hockey minded brass and hence the relative laissez faire approach when it came to meddlesome suits dictating operations.

Their latest move has revealed the current mindset is a typically despotic one, and in the Raptors’ case potentially, an economically driven spreadsheet based one. Picture: MLSE board meets and weighs Raptor upside (2nd or 3rd round playoffs at best) vs sunk money for fired coach, deems it not $-viable, rejects Colangelo’s 100 page proposal/thesis, and tells him to buckle up for one more season. Also: sell, sell, sell those RED T-shirts like they’re eco-friendly hybrids.

If any shred of evidence ever hinted that Bryan Colangelo had an operational carte blanche, without a mandate from up above, let’s respectfully bury that notion with this latest move. The reins are on.

To MLSE, clearly GM = Get Money.

(Whoever’s in charge - Please no Rod Black. At any time. Please! Even Suneel Joshi, but not Rod f@cking Black.)

Despite not having players with Piston’esque defensive ability, while Dwight was putting up those gargantuan numbers, why wasn’t the below strategy considered?

[from ESPN.com]

“He averaged 22.6 points, 18.2 rebounds and 3.8 blocks against Toronto — helping Orlando advance in the playoffs for the first time since 1996 — to rival what Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Moses Malone produced in those categories during the playoffs in the 1970s.”

Pistons coach Flip Saunders started with Jason Maxiell guarding Howard before sending Rasheed Wallace, Antonio McDyess and Ratliff at him.

Howard’s 12 points were the fewest he scored during this postseason and his eight rebounds marked a career low in 10 playoff games. His lackluster game led to Orlando scoring a season-worst 72 points, 13 fewer than its previous low.”

The four horsemen would have slowed Dwight considerably — Hump, Primo, Rasho, Bosh — in the LEAST sending him to the line more often (HOWWW-ARD, HOWWW-ARD) and causing him to expend more energy, jostling for position with players not so concerned with saving their fouls. Common sense.